I know high fiber foods is a large part of it, but is there anything else to it?
Fry ups make my shit come out like a greased otter. Probably all the oil.
Healthy, fibre heavy foods make a right mess, like tar. Even the travel bidet struggles with that.
It sounds like you may have a a slight case of steattorhea? Do these otter poops float as well?
Because if so, it might be some slight absorption issue. I seem to have one, my poops being very much like you describe. Both, at times.
But when I went on an exclusion diet and then added things back in I realised I apparently have a slight gluten sensitivity. Leaving out gluten and dairy completely made an insane change. Even when I would eat greasy chicken wings, I wouldn’t get dem greasy otter poops. Just like, more regular poops, despite what I ate.
I’m not saying you have the same thing, just saying I had that.
Related though, there is I believe like an over-the-counter supplement that’s enzymes which help with the absorption / break down of the food, because greasy stools can be a result of too little of some pancreatic enzymes or something.
Am not a trained medical professional, btw, so don’t take medical advice from me. But like, things to look up at least.
As a gluten and fructose intolerant person, I agree. That shit makes shit shit.
I deal with it by smoking copious amounts of weed.
Makes nausea and digestive pain a lot easier when you empty your entire guts into the toilet bowl and get off the throne 4 kilos lighter.
I call those poops flawless victories.
Cyanide and a belief in reincarnation.
Because often the reason your turds are Like That is genetics and the only solution would be to become a different person.
A bidet
I find they’re hard to eat.
You have to eat them one bidet at a time.
- Wax your ass
- Get a squatting stool
- Don’t eat spicy food
- High Fiber, meaning, don’t eat anything purréd
- Try to eat a salad with lunch/dinner
- Limit or eliminate processed foods
- Limit saturated fat intake up until the point your gallbladder can keep up
- Red sauces, not white sauces
- Eliminate fried food
- Eat foods that are in a form where you can visually discern each major ingredient. (That’s kinda where the term “Whole Foods” comes from)
- Eat lean proteins like chicken/fish/Pork (not bacon)
Taco Bell takes issue with like half of these.
You lost me at 3 ngl.
Reading number 3 makes me angry.
You spelled hungry wrong.
Legit hard dealbreaker
They lost me at no. 1
Shaving works too. I’ve gotten pretty good at getting it clean with a double edge safety razor. About once every couple of weeks keeps the wiping pretty easy.
somehow, putting a blade to my asshole doesn’t really sound that appealing.
I used to think the same thing and would have my wife wax me. The razor is much faster, doesn’t hurt at all, and accomplishes the goal of keeping my massive ass forest under control.
No thanks. Ryobi one blade.
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I tried it and it’s not for me. I prefer two stable flat feet on the ground.
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You don’t need to wax your ass if you produce teflon grade poops as asked in this thread. I found out week long feats of uninterrupted veganism helped, so i’d argue balancing fibre intake is key. But i’m not doctor, just like the person i just replyed to.
Why no spicy food?
I think it’s more likely to accelerate digestion and it can give you the runs, not 100% sure on that explanation though
Basically this. Increased gut motility from inflammation reduces the time spent extracting water from your stool, which is exactly counterproductive to the OP’s question.
Wait, can chili do that? I don’t think I’ve experienced that even though my mouth has been on fire numerous times.
Many things increase gut motility. Barbiturates are a famous example of the opposite effect.
It totally depends on the individual, but jalapeños give me diarrhea every time without fail. Spicy food causes general GI upset and inflammation.
If jalapeños give you diarrhea you should try a habanero or a ghost pepper instead.
It is kind of funny that jalapeños sometimes cause my stomach to get upset, but habaneros never do.
So I just thought to duck duck go why and apparently pickled jalepenos are more likely to cause digestive issues and that matches up for me.
So it clearly has nothing to do with the spiciness, and just with whatever your digestive system doesn’t like about jalapeños (or them being pickled). Why would you agree that spicy food is relevant here when it clearly isn’t?
They didn’t.
Yea, sorry. Turns out it was a different person posting this, and I had somehow assumed it was the same person replying, my bad.
I eat peppers that would make a billy goat puke, no gut issues. It’s a matter of getting used to, i.e., burning out, the neurotransmitters that sense capsaicin.
People tend to think hot peppers are rough on the guts, but consider, birds chow them with no issue. No nerves for capsaicin, no problem. See? No cat. No cradle.
I love me a good Vonnegut reference
You might just be allergic to jalapeños, my cousin.
Only thing id add is staying properly hydrated
High fiber and proper hydration.
I actually find low hydration is the best approach. The system removes a lot more moisture from the waste resulting in solid non-smearing packets.
Pretty sure that’s not how that works.
Then you risk constipation.
I eat a lot of fruit. Never drink water though. Hate the stuff.
I drink hella water and eat nothing but greens, beans, and whole grains… stilly sticky as, well, shit. So there’s clearly other factors at play.
So no sugar or even aspartame? Dairy? You might also have an allergy.
I mean, I do season my food, and I have a definite sugar problem. No dairy, I’m intolerant. Probably the sugar, then.
A bidet.
Interesting diet choice…
It’s pretty good after the first few bites.
Lots of cheese. Don’t need to wipe if your shit is solid as a brick.
sounds like asking for a hemmaroid.
Damn you, I have a sealed block of sharp cheddar that I might have to open tonight…
none, or get a bidet, but you would want to wipe for sanitary reasons anyways.
I think you missed the point.
“No wipe poops” doesn’t mean you never wipe again. It means poop that leaves behind insignificant residue.
I periodicity have these, and it’s a joy. There’s definitely a dietary aspect to it, and moving that direction seems to be the point here.
Thank you for understanding and emphasis on the point of my question 👍
Even when there’s no obvious sign of poo out still feels wet like I’m wiping normally. I would always want to wipe at least once to get all the sweat and residue from the past few hours that naturally accumulate for just being a human.
I think I rank this question up there with the fate of our universe and the meaning of life. It’s just a scientific mystery that is beyond our ability to understand.
Regular moderate exercise and avoiding just eating mostly sugar has helped me.
Fiber and good gut biome. It can take a while to correct if out of wack.
Eat less frequently. OMAD or skip one meal. Also if you’re drinking a lot of water, supplement with electrolyte capsules (no Gatorade) to maintain optimal function. Reduce or eliminate snacking between meals.
the large intestines absorbs water, electrolytes, and vitamins. It won’t function as well if your shits out of whack.
Hire a ghost to poop for you. Ezpz
Instructions unclear; shit in sink.
Sugar free orange flavored metamucil. No joke. Mix up one or two spoonfuls each morning and in the next day or two your shits will start being magical.
Citrucel is also pretty great especially if metamucil gives you some gas.
If pooping was an Olympic sport, fiber would be performance enhancing.
Not entirely true. Metamucil, as it contains mostly soluble fiber, will help with regularity, but not with firmness. For firmer stools, thus “no wipe,” more INsoluble fiber is the way to go.
Seconding this. It’s honestly a little embarrassing how much taking solid shits improves your life. Bathroom breaks are quicker, don’t stink as much, and you save a fortune on toilet paper. My diet has since improved to the point where I don’t need it, but I still keep a couple tubs of it in the pantry just in case.
Get a bidet
Those don’t taste that great though, not for my daily diet anyways…
