So the lady made us wait for a few minutes while my daughter, who is 14 and hasn’t been on a plane since she was 4, started getting freaked out. Then she finally got her bag and opened it and searched it very thoroughly while asking us about whether or not she had any sharp objects.
She dresses punky despite loving Hello Kitty and she packed some spiked jewelry, so we thought maybe that was it.
It was not.
It was her deodorant.
The lady pulled out her deodorant, took it over to some special station where she did some sort of chemical analysis, and then gave it back and told us to zip up her case and leave.
Thanks for protecting the airport from dangerous deodorant, TSA! Great job!
I’ve had the TSA dig through my 6 year old child’s bag of goldfish crackers before. Thank goodness they’re there to protect us.
You gotta remember there are people who get there kids to be drug mules. So yes in this instance it seems weird. But theres about 1 million ways people have tried to smuggle things. No matter the ethics, inside concealment. Hollowing out containers replacing normal products with stubstances or precursors to make drugs.
I watch alot of “Austrian border security” on youtube and you would not believe some way people try to smuggle stuff. A few months ago they imbedded precursors to make meth. Inside of a less than 1mm clear sheet of plastic. Crazy shit
Sounds like a good idea to stop prosecuting people for drugs in that case.
My biggest pet peeve about the TSA is how they get all annoyed if you don’t know what randomly selected procedures they’ll be using today.
The TSA deliberately randomizes its security procedures. Different airports use different procedures, and the same airport uses different procedures at random. Sometimes you need to take your laptop out of your bag; sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you need to take off your shoes; sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you can just use the metal detector, sometimes they want you to use the rape scanner.
Which is fine I suppose; it makes sense to leave potential threats guessing. But the real problem is the attitude of the TSA agents themselves. It’s not just that they randomly select procedures; it’s that they get angry about it. Start taking off your shoes out of habit at a TSA line that today doesn’t require it? A community college dropout will soon be by, screaming at you for daring to take your shoes off in line. Start taking your laptop out when they’ve decided that today is a day for leaving it in? Some guy that couldn’t even meet the low bar of becoming a regular police officer will be in your face about it within seconds.
Or when they start robbing people and then committing money laundering
This lady gave me shit for standing “at the other side” of a table that was sticking out a little. I was standing next to it to give my daughter room. I had to back up so that I was technically behind the table. There would have been no way for me to get to the lady from where I was standing or any other TSA employee or equipment. Just ridiculous.
sometimes they want you to use the rape scanner.
Uh… What’s a rape scanner?
It’s what I call the Rapiscan systems
https://www.rapiscansystems.com/en/
I just call them the rape scanners.
The one that lets them see through your clothing.
Spoiler
The beeping dildo
I don’t think they get annoyed, it’s just that the way they talk is most efficient at communicating in that environment.
TSA doesn’t provide protection. It provides security theater.
Protection implies some sort of attention designed to safeguard something of value.
Security theater is the purchasing of ineffective and expensive machines from corporations in key senate districts to win voting influence and campaign donations.
I work at an airport as a mobility assistant. What this means is I push people in wheelchairs all day. I go through TSA about 50 times per week doing this exact ritual.
What surprises me about this is that they gave your deodorant back. What I see is they give you two choices.
A) Surrender the object that they deem suspicious (either deodorant, lotion, shampoo, water, or gels/creams). By surrendering it, they basically just throw it away.
Or B) you can be escorted to ticketing desk of your airline by a TSA agent. From there, you have to convince them to give you your bag back to put a stick of deodorant back in. This involves them radioing the grounds crew, halting the bag loading of the entire plane, looking for your bag, and then bringing it back. This whole process takes about an hour. And very well could cause you to miss your flight.
She thought it was suspicious because you’re a flying squid riding an airplane. I have a similar problem.
We can only fly 30 meters at a time! Do you know how long it would take us to get to Heathrow that way?!
What if two swallows carried you on a piece of string?
African or European?
Huh? I don’t know that…
I know! When they ask why don’t I just fly everywhere I ask them “if you can run, why do you take a car?”
I’m pretty sure that the airspace around Heathrow is controlled, too.
Have a safe flight.
I hope at least some stress disappears when you land.
Hey! Did you make it there OK? Have you learned to play cricket yet?
Yo it’s the end of the FlyingSquid saga (maybe).
