Used to be I’d scroll through the suggested videos, and find new content creators based on my interests.

Now? I don’t trust clicking on a new unheard of youtuber channel. 90% of the time it’s just AI crap.

Not a big Guardians fan??? Surely you can’t deny that Jose Rameriez is one of the greatest in the game today!!! Go Guards!

…we’re talking baseball right?

Actually, he’d just wait outside a pizza parlor on a sidewalk…

Wait…I’m a guy. I wipe my ass. Am I supposed to be not wiping my ass? Is that a womens thing? Like crying at movies and drinking tasty mixed drinks, uh, I mean fruity mixed drinks?

Ok. Fine. I’ll stop wiping. Maybe that’s why I’m single. Women think I’m gay because my pants lack brown streaks.

I make the lather with the bar of soap. I rub it on me until I get the lather going. Then I stick the bar inside my butthole until I get a lather in there.

I poop bubbles, bitch!

Your hands, hands, mouth, face, feet and legs touch so much stuff constantly.

You think my hands touch more than my dick? Pssshhhh!!! Yeah, ok. Shows what YOU know! Here, hold this…it’s my dick.

Where’s the offramp for this timeline?

May I reccomend you watch the movie Odiocracy.

Ummmm…a small military? Maybe he wanted to kick it old school, and go back on 1700s era holy cruisades, but with modern firepower!

…really hoping you dropped this:

/s

Hmmmmmm, has anyone ever explored the idea that trump has skitzophrenia? Maybe he really does think large amounts of people are saying things.

Of coarse, that doesn’t make it any better. That just means the president has mental illness, and is the guy in charge of the military and nukes. Which feels even worse than if he were just a narcisist.

20 years ago I almost moved to Florida. I liked it.

And now? I’m so glad I didn’t do it. I don’t know if I’m less blind, or if it’s gotten worse. But now I don’t even want to visit, much less live there.

Then again, I don’t want to live in Ohio either. Yet here we are.

I’m releasing a new chipset structure. It’s not Intel. It’s not AMD. It’s BUTTS BUTTS BOOTYS.

So now all the best games will run on BUTTS BUTTS BOOTYS, and journalists will have to call it that.

Napster was audio only. Did you mean limewire, or kazaa, or one of the many napster clones that came after?

I think pancakes COULD kill you. You just need enough of them. Like imagine 2 tons of pancakes fell from the sky, and right onto you.

I will have a taco!

I mean…by that logic their ramblings make sense. Porn to them is child porn. So if all porn is child porn (in their minds) then blocking access to porn isn’t a bad idea.

The whole thing falls apart however if they were to realize that most people DO look at porn, but most people DON’T look at child porn.

I watch porn most days. I’ve never in my life had any desire to restrict others ability to watch porn.

But then again, porn for me is a woman fucking a dude in the ass, or 4 women standing around another woman who’s tied up and they’re tickling her until she screams bloody murder.

You know. Normal shit. Harmless shit. Fill in the blank of your own kinks, but at no point do kids come into play in my mind.

If I equated “porn” to “child porn” then yeah, I’d be trying to pass those laws too. But that says more about the way they think than anything.

Especially when you consider that schools are one of the most common places for public shootings, but you don’t see them racing out to pass common sense gun reform laws.

It’s such a hard problem to tackle, when you’re self defeating in your attempts. No other country has this issue.

drop a copy of bad babysitters 5 in every DVD player in best buy

Soooooo, 0 dvd players? Best Buy stopped carrying physical media years ago.

??? How am I blaming her? Am I misunderstanding you?

Well, that actually doesn’t seem unreasonable.

“Please stop photographing my private property.”

Pictures of property go in newspapers instead

I mean…she has a point…

worst case scenario is they’re still not part of your life.

What? That’s not true at all! They could reconnect with you over a 12 month span.

Then after they have your trust, and you’ve hung out a handfull of times, you get together, and they host a superbowl party. Everybody gets drunk, and has a good time…

…and then at 4am you wake up chained down to a table. Now he’s harvesting your kidneys!