Be rich. Makes everything so much easier.
Solves being poor 100% of the time!
Budget. Don’t need to be fancy. But build a view on the things that you’ll need to pay for over the year (Christmas, birthdays, holidays, car service, boiler service etc) and actually put money aside every month to pay for those things. Nothing beats the adult feeling of “yes, I’ll just pay for this thing here from this envelope and done”.
And if you’re uncertain about the exact numbers always overestimate costs and underestimate income.
Listen, don’t interrupt a conversation with stuff about you. Take the time to listen to them and ask questions, it goes a long way.
I have a lot of trouble with this, I guess issues with egocentrism. For me, listening is trying to understand their perspective, and picturing how I would see things from where they are standing very often wraps around to finding an experience that I’ve had, or things that I understand, that are analogous. Those things help me get a better grip on what this person is saying. I haven’t really found a way around this, when I really try to not inject my own anecdotes I end up not really contributing much substance and often not following as well, and I feel like a much worse listener because of that.
As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that I’ve always had some trouble with auditory processing in general, so interjecting is a way I can slow down the conversation before I get lost and make sure I’m still on track.
I’ve started to have such a massive problem around this one lately. I’m a good, maybe even great listener, and when I’m with another good listener, some real nice and deep conversations emerge, which I really treasure.
The problem is that the amount of other good listeners around me has shrunk to nearly no one, and I feel myself completely squeezed out of every conversation I engage in. Even a one-on-one dialogue can turn into a monologue where I’m not able to fit in more than a syllable here and there.It’s really deteriorating my self esteem and level of happiness. Really feels like not even my closest friends and family give a shit about any part of my life or my person.
Just the same used to happen to me. Then I started to take charge of my life.
I learn to say no. I throw away people making only noises. I cut all the craps from my life. Alone and contented, I am much better than my past. And when i do find good listeners, there is some significant talk.
You also need to make some short witty satirical comments in between, to shake them, like Mark Twain’s.
Once you’ve lathered up in the shower, throw some of that lather on the chrome in the shower then rinse it off just before you get out. Clean chrome, every day, without doing much.
If you want something, ask for it. A raise? A date ? Help? Advice? Wanna do something else in your company? Need a sport buddy?
90% of times the reason one doesn’t get what they want is because they don’t ask.
I asked and got all the above… Well the date not on first try 😅
As a person who manages people, I cannot fight for your raise if YOU don’t fight for your raise.
I cannot tell you how many times where something like this happens. I tell my higher ups, “Sarah should get promoted and increase her salary” and then my bosses go up to Sarah and she responds all limpdick like, “I like my job and I’m happy.”
God damn it Sarah! Flex a little. Talk about how you see a opening you want. Stop being a keyboard warrior on Work Reform and actually SAY IT OUT LOUD. Share your wins! Brag about your value to the company. Demand your worth to MY BOSSES TOO.
It’s not a single person who makes these decisions. It’s multiple people.
Nobody is going to hand you shit if you’re timid about it.
Don’t be fat
Also don’t not be not fat
Also don’t not be not fat
Guys, tetris agrees with above guy…count the negatives…
oh they know, they just think the humour is weak
Manage your email. Unsubscribe from everything that hits your inbox you don’t want. Mark emails as read even if you don’t read them. Automate tagging. Write rules to move things automatically out of your inbox to a different folder. Put time sensitive emails on your calendar. And above all else, use the archive and trash. Keep your inbox clean!
I have one personal email (posteo, 1 euro per month) that I use for personal correspondences, and one shitty personal email I signed up for in high school that I use for anything where there’s any chance it might make it to some corporate mailing list. I have the posteo address set up alongside work email to notify me when new mails come in, and the junk address I’ll login through firefox like every few days (unless I’m expecting something specific) to skim and mark the most recent mail as read so I know where to start skimming next time.
For work, anything I actually need to deal with I’ll mark as unread until I get around to it, because it’s annoying seeing the icon show I have unread messages. Sometimes “getting around to it” does just mean putting it in a calendar or some other way of making sure I don’t lose track.
I prefer to only use the inbox for anything that is unread that I haven’t read.
At work, we have to use outlook, which has a handy macro feature. I wrote wrote one to flag an email, mark it as unread, and move it out of my inbox into a different folder. That way it is out of my inbox, has a number indicating how many items I have left to complete, and is given priority over other emails. Use cases and email systems vary, but maybe something like that could help you
Bonus. If you are forced to use outlook against your will, you can benefit from the todo app. Any email you flag will be automatically put as a todo along with a link to the email.
Unsubscribe is your friend.
FOMO is a marketing strategy.
We want to stay in your inbox so we can temp you on big marketing days.
Alternatively, don’t spend any time out effort on that, except flagging/deleting spam, and take advantage of search functionality to immediately find anything you need later on.
Agreed on the calendar use though.
Also I don’t mean do any of that manually. Set a rule for tagging your boss’s emails as ‘boss’. You know you are looking for an email about tps reports. It was either your friend or lumberg. There are also other people who are emailing about tps reports. You can find it faster if you use the boss tag and it was actually him
My boss better not email me on my personal mailbox.
Agreed lol
How immediate is immediately? Tags help you narrow that search. Tags make immediately more immediate 🙂
The career you chose out of high school doesn’t have to be the one you do until you retire and you can also very easily go back to school if you are ever unsatisfied with your path.
Sometimes it just takes a bit of time and experience for you to find your passion and with it your skills to really blossom.
I, for instance started with veterinary nursing, but ended up in mech/elec. engineering and will be taking classes on the side for it.
Hey, similar to me! I was a veterinarian receptionist for years, then went back to school and got my associates in cad and now I’m a substation designer.
Very true, more people should follow their dreams.
I know a guy who was kind of forced into an IT university. His parents thought it would be a good fit, as he likes computers and videogames.
He one day decided to quit and took some time off and started working in some fancy hotel kitchen as a temp job, while spending some time away from the family. Fast forward a couple years, he is now in culinary school and wants to become a chef. Needless to say he is happier and visibly has a better mental health as before.
As someone who went from being miserable running a pizza kitchen, to my dream job of being a software engineer, I can’t fathom how anyone would want to go the opposite direction. Everyone has different preferences I suppose.
No idea, also not my ideal preference, but he seem to like it, while he was miserable with the IT school.
Needless to say he is happier
That’s just the coke.
Dunno if that will work in every country, but in Brazil, an easy way to get a discount for your home internet is calling and asking to cancel your line. They will offer a deal. I’ve heard, but have not tried myself, that if you refuse this first offer, they will later attempt a second, better offer.
Learn internet pirating skills. Nowadays it’s mostly about knowing which sites can be trusted and having patience. Or just download telegram and look for channels and groups, I suspect it’s a lower risk of being caught even in the USA without a VPN, though that may change soon.
Do some 10-15 second stretches often, every 2-4 hours or so. Can help with localized pains and in keeping them away. Physiotherapy and all that.
On the discount thing…my dad tried it once. “I’d like to cancel my subscription, too expensive.”, my dad said. The guy told him to hold a second and then came with the date the cable guy come to take it all out. It wasn’t Internet, though
Except for special cases, you don’t actually have to do a task fully. You can pick at it as you go.
For example, i almost never do all the dishes at once. I just do 1-2 when i pass by the kitchen and i have a minute or two to spare. Without even realizing it or barely feel the energy or the time used, the task is either done or it is much smaller and more manageable.
This can apply to most adulting tasks by my experience.
I found this out when i had cancer and taking care of the kids. No time for making extra time for tasks; so combining was a necessity. waking up, bring the laundry basket down the hall to the kitchen, make breakfast for kids, when going to the garage to take the kids to school bring basket on the way to laundry room. Getting home toss laundry in. when heading out to pick kids up switch them to the dryer. come back bring basket off dried stuff back in to room. Other stuff like fold towels while sitting on toilet.
Gg on beating that cancer <3
I had an awesome team of GP, Surgeon, Oncologist, dentistry, coordinators radiologists, nurses, ENT, porters, etc people in Lower Mainland BC. People complain about healthcare here, but when you are legit sick, they work fast and focused.
If you can optimise those by doing small task while waiting, e.g. when the microwave/oven is running, while you’re watching TV etc. then you can effectively do chores without losing time as well
Plus it makes it feel like a game, kinda. I hate doing the dishes, but can I finish before the pot boils over? I load folding laundry but can I do it before my show is over? Etc
This is a good one!
Take magnesium to combat the slow and steady buildup of muscle tension that’s ruining your mental health.
I like the sound of that, but is it based in science?
I can’t cite studies off the top of my head, but I would wager each step of this is supported:
- muscle tension release -> improved mental health ** or if not then at least massage therapy -> improved mental health
- magnesium -> reduced muscle tension
Of those two steps, which do you doubt more?
Is your question based in science?
Yes
Please show me the science your question is based on
Magnesium Glycinate is the best before sleep!
I like magnesium and I love zinc
I’m not sure which one, but the combination of zinc, magnesium and fish oil give me some crazy vivid dreams.
It’s the fish burps from the oil pills. Worst part of taking fish oil pills, but I hate seafood so this is the only way this is happening.
For every service you sign up to … phone company, subscription, gas company, water service, electricity, whatever …
… always ask if you can get a discount or a better price.
Don’t be embarrassed to ask. No one cares. We just build a culture around the hope that no one will ever ask for a better price and negotiate. The rep your talking to doesn’t care about you and doesn’t care about the company … they might be having a bad day and won’t care about helping you … or they might be having a good day and they know an inside method or option to save you something … or they might be facing losing their job so they figure out a way to save you a ton of money.
I got a banking service a few weeks ago and they gave me a price for a subscription … I knew it was a sham but it was a service I needed … I asked for a discount from the Filipino rep who spoke bag English … she went off for five minutes and came back with a 60% discount.
Sometimes these businesses set their prices high and just hope that no one will ask for a different price … because most people never ask.
I’ve been calling SiriusXM satellite radio every 6 months for their discount. Here’s their regular prices:
If you speak to the rep ask them about the 6 months car+app deal for $30, after taxes and fees it’s like $34 for 6 months. They put you on full price auto pay at the end of 6 months but set a reminder to cancel, wait a few days, then call and ask for the 6 month deal again. It’s worked the last 6 years.
I have a theory that every company/service/corporation has dozens of loopholes like this everywhere that people could take advantage of. But no one ever does because most people are too honest and proud to ever ask for a discount or to take advantage of an opportunity like this. Most people are too nice and gullible.
Corporations bet on people being too nice all the time.
People are too embarrassed or self conscious to go after a deal or even to ask for one … when in reality corporations are complete greedy whores and will sell your grandmother if it meant they could save a penny.
No one should ever feel embarrassed or shy to ask for a discount or go after saving themselves a few dollars. Corporations do it all the time and they never shy away from skimming off a few pennies from you if they can.
BTW - beautiful work on getting that regular discount for yourself
Exactly all of this! The worst that can happen is they say no.
Exactly … I have wealthy friends and non-wealthy friends who are dirt poor … you know what the difference is between the two groups?
The wealthy people are the stingiest people you’ll ever meet and they’ll fight to save a dollar or two, even though you know they have tons of money in the bank.
The poor people will spend $100 on something they could buy for $20 and never think twice about the money they lost, even though they have nothing saved in their bank.
How is the $25 a month tier considered ‘better value’ than the $10 tier if your head unit has bluetooth? That badge is completely meaningless.
Satellite radio doesn’t require your phone to have solid signal. Going out into the boonies? As long as you can see the sky you’re chance of losing radio is almost none. I used to love having satellite radio until I started working from home. Now I have almost everything I want on a downloaded playlist to my phone.
Side question; is your name a reference to Kingdom Hearts Nobody names
Yeah, nice catch!
You can say no: to volunteer work, to events you don’t want to go to, to doing favors to people. The power of no is amazing
Avoid subscription services. You may pay more short term, but you won’t have to remember to cancel anything
This, the only monthly subscription I have is internet plan from my cellular provider (15GB for $5 at 10mbps). Zero regrets
Any cheaper showoffs are welcomed :)
PS: I don’t get why people subscribe to music services. I mean, you could just download your favorites and listen locally…
Sure, I could, and would like to own my copies. It’s just that would be a lot of work and money with the experience ultimately being worse.
They trick you to think it is (by screaming features at you that you soldemly need), but IMHO, it’s not. I only have a couple of songs that I like, and shazam new songs that I will hear along the way.
I honestly think that shazam is the only proper feature that I just might pay subscription for. It’s brilliant. It just works, every time!
I have a service that extracts my playback data.
I’m fairly confident I would not just discover 6700 different artists by word of mouth, searching, or shazam combined. It would take a lifetime.
Shazam identifies music that’s playing- where is it playing from in the first place?We seem to have different use cases.
Okay, let’s say you’re really into this feature.
With all the enshitifications global conglomerates are doing, how sure are you that the company will hold on to the promises they made?
I mean, this data is on their servers, right? (Even if it is stored locally, it’s probably scrambled, like the local downloaded music, so that no one else can take advantage of it)
We all forget that these companies operate on a “for profit” basis and will always find ways to maximize it.
Why? Corporate overlords are greedy. Not that I’m against it. They just soldemly ignore the “imaginary line” to absurdity that should not be crossed.
After all, even google found a way to go around the “don’t be evil” policy; right now, I get shoved a minimum of 6 ads, each video 😡
Spotify users, get ready for ads right before the chorus of your fav songs.
Exactly. I want to discover new artists, and sometimes I accidentally discover old artists that I should have known about but sheltered, raised-on-small-town-Midwestern-radio old me never could.
Build up a routine of scheduled exercise. It’s amazing when you get deep into a job how little time you have, and it’s easy to put exercise to the wayside. Make it part of your schedule when it’s flexible, and then hold it when it becomes difficult. Exercise has massive outside benefits to overall health mood etc
Yes! I got a stationary bike and set it up with a view of the TV. Now instead of just sitting on the couch watching TV I at least get exercise doing it.
Use a virtual credit card when signing up for subscription services. Set the recurring amount at just enough to cover the trial amount, and then once the subscription fee goes up it’ll notify you if you wish to continue paying for it. You can increase the limit if you want to keep the service, or just let the card decline until the service is cancelled. Most credit cards have virtual cards as an option, but I also use app.paywithextend.com
THANK you! Wish I had known this app two weeks ago. Neither of my banks have virtual credit cards. The one CSR even said “That’s a great idea! I’ll pass that along.” 🙄
Be careful with the declining part. I believe some companies, notably gym memberships, have ways to make your life difficult if your payment doesn’t go through
cook for yourself at least once a week. Not only is it a good skill to keep polished, you get great control over what you’re actually eating. Keeps you grounded to society, the cost of primary prices, and you can compare kitchen costs versus restaurant cost easily. It keeps you involved in society.
A helpful “rule” I set for myself to encourage myself to cook more was to allow myself to indulge if it was a proper, homecooked meal. Stuff like splurging on fancied ingredients (I’m fond of salmon), or having an extra cheesy lasagne. It was a useful carrot to dangle in front of myself, and a useful stepping stone to better habits. I also would sometimes cook for friends, like informal dinner parties (I always found it easier to cook for 4 than for 1)
On the cost side of things, even my fancier meals were still cheaper than takeout. Plus it’s easier to eat healthier if you’re already cooking for yourself often (and I even broke that down into smaller chunks too — I first focussed on adding more veg and general nutrition, then I reduced the proportion of healthy stuff)
Nice to hear it not framed around health only, for once. From most advice it is seemingly impossible to live a healthy life if you dont cook yourself six days a week. Which seems ridicilous. Particularly for one who doesnt enjoy cooking (even though I do know how to cook decent meals).
Wish there was restaurants around here that was more like mess halls, priced at a level everyone could afford to eat at every day, made from healthy local ingredients, shared tables, no attempt at “mood” or theme, no waiters, you get whats served today and no alternatives except for those with particual dietary needs. I ate at the local poor-house once and it was almost what I would have wanted if they just got rid of the preacher and added a payment terminal. I heard those kinda eateries were common back around the early 1900. Why we at some point decided that everyone should mostly cook their own meals, or buy over-salted pre-made meals, and that restaurants should either be a luxury and involve a lot of waiting for a table and a waiter and the meal and the oversized bill and the waiter again to pay, or be fastfood so unbalanced that nobody should really eat it daily.
If you like Indian, there are places that serve Thali lunch or sign up for thali delivery. it is a prescribed meal with some flexible choices but basically slap down $10 and you get a metal tray with 3 curries, soup, rice and bread. Everyone has the same tray, like you see in prison shows
From most advice it is seemingly impossible to live a healthy life if you dont cook yourself six days a week
For health reasons I am on a diet that has minimal carbohydrates, almost zero. And no seed oils.
For my health journey, it is impossible to eat at a restaurant healthily. even if I order straight meat, many restaurants will cook it in seed oil, so I can never be sure. I.e. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8w8LKwOeO0
My only option is basically a salad. Which is fine, but not sustainable.
If I may ask, why can’t you have seed oils?
inflamation
That sucks.
But it IS solvable, if a restaurant’s goal wasnt purely to earn the most money possible, I would think. Maybe not on-demand but if they knew you’d be eating daily (subscribtion?) then having a slower no-contaminant part of a kitchen making dietary-different meals would be a nice addition.
Exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you 👍
Never leave without an appointment. When doing routine things like the dentist or yearly car inspection make the next appointment on your way out. If booking your next dentist visit 6 months out you get your choice of any time you like. Just stick it in your calendar and move on.
The only time that voice doesn’t work is if the people you’re making an appointment with only schedule out a certain time in advance and you need to go out longer. The cardiologist office I go to only ever lets you schedule 6 months in advance and I gotta go yearly, so I don’t have that luxury.
If you can’t find the motivation to start doing a lengthy task (like cleaning the house, gardening, or working on a project), force yourself to do it only for 30 minutes. It’s not an unreasonably long time. By the end, you’ll either have gained enough momentum to keep going and finish it, or if not, you’ve still made 30 minutes of progress.
I’ve heard this called the ‘dirty 30’. It works. Whatever needs cleaning up or tidying, 30 minutes is just short enough to not feel like you’re using all your free time on chores, but long enough to make a real dent. Especially if your partner either helps with the same task or does a different one. Setting a timer can help and you start to almost frantically see how much you can get done. I like that competitive element even against myself.
As someone with ADHD, I’m all about the 5 minute timer.
If I spend 0 minutes cleaning my kitchen, I will clean 0% of my kitchen. But if I set a 5 minute timer, I’ll almost always completely finish whatever cleaning I needed to do.
I like how you’re accepting longer tasks as well. What I’ve read typically is like “if a long task is dumb, get into the grind spirit by working a tiny task first and using that momentum”.
Your suggestion is to just ‘dip your toe into’ the longer task as a taste test. I like that. And I have so many longer tasks to do.
Organizing tasks in pomodoros (which is really close to your method), is a great way to do things.
