My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.
Staying makes it pretty clear OP is choosing a side. Theyd rather have a cool friend dad than an actual parent
Edit: not only was dad willing to blow up his family to get his dick wet, but he’s also cool with abusing his power for said reason
There are no ‘sides’.
Maybe not in a perfect world. But here there are clearly very opposing sides.
Even if the dad is cool about it and makes it seem like choosing to stay with him isn’t picking a side, it still is
My recommendation is not to side with the guy who not only had an affair but invited Ms side peice to live in their old family home
Between an immoral piece of sh and a person who was dedicated and believed they weren’t yes there are sides.
Father isn’t just committing an act of betrayal, which he does to the person he loves, so op will definitely also be fair game for betrayal, father is also abusing his seat of power over his very young employee which is called coertion or quid pro quo and is UNACCEPTABLE. The fact OP could look into the eyes of a man who would betray him without a second thought is just cope.
Eventually it will sink in how horrific this was and op I am sure being moral themselves hopefully will take moms side.
Normal to go through a period of shock or denial before it sinks in.
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Nah. I’ll keep my family values
You can go have fun blowing up a family and chalk it up to “whoops. Just another mistake”
If you are this allergic to nuance, I recommend staying away from threads that require logical/rational breakdowns of heavily-emotional topics.
You can’t just jump the gun (having fun blowing up families) about someone just because they answered OOPs question in an impartial manner.
So if you seriously cannot engage with this topic without resuming to attacks, I implore you to take a step back, reasess, and move on to something else.
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Not from Kansas. Well traveled and have seen a bunch of relationships. I’ve seen people get divorced and I’ve seen infidelity.
I have immeasurably more respect for those that get divorced no matter how hard it is. Breaking the vow through being a cheater is about as low as you can go.
Sorry you don’t hold marriage to sanctity it should be
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Says the man posting from lemmynsfw. Things in your second marriage must be going super well
If you held marriage to any standard, a man breaking his vows to sleep WITH HIS ASSISTANT should be pretty deplorable. And recommended an atleast young adult to just brush past that like it’s just another mistake is insane.
Yeah, just look the other way that he figuratively slapped your mom across the face. Atleast he’s cool though
Ah yes, you’re one of those who think porn is a sin. Explains a lot about your attitude in the comments here.
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Nah. Im allowed to do whatever I want.
And I want to call out people for excusing an affair. The dad could have done it the right way, like an actual adult. Asking for a divorce is hard, but immeasurably easier emotionally to the person you make a commitment to than sneaking around and finally getting caught WITH YOUR ASSISTANT
No one is excusing an affair. People are merely trying to help OOP navigate an emotionally complex situation: wanting to keep contact with their father despite the circumstances, and wondering if their mother’s actions are justifiable or not.
You can do whatever you want, but that does not absolve you of consequences.
I only gave you genuine advice, taking breaks/disengaging is helpful. I cannot force you, ofcourse, there’s only so much I can do.
So please consider above, and have a nice day
Hey I know this guy just did one of the most deplorable things a man can do, but just continue having fun with him. It’ll be fine.
I’m curious to learn what you think about your username in this context? What crime are you partner in and is it only breaking a partnership that is an unforgivable crime?
Are you a whale, Ross?
Yes. Now your turn, my morally incorruptible dude.
Cool. I also love lying to make a point
Jaywalking. I’ll be your partner in jaywalking cause it was made up by the motor industry to pass on pedestrians getting hit onto the pedestrian instead of the driver
To bad you’ll never get to experience it though, being your a whale and all
I’m not the one that is making claims of perfection on people. You are. It seems to me you are not living up to your own high standards on others though.
But it is ok. Again, see point 2.
Im not saying people have to be perfect. Cheating with your assistant is faaaar from perfect though.
Get a divorce and move on. To show your kid the right way in life. Dude failed that though. Showed his child that family is nothing. And the child is now supposed to just continue being family with him cause he’s fun
They should be having thier mother’s back, as they didn’t go an do one of the lowest things you can do in a marriage