besides all that, she has an odd sense of humor but is really nice. not only this, but has been my friend since middle school, and i dated her in sixth grade. she has always been christian, but she’s practicing it more and feels like she has to “repent for her sins” and whatever.
she used to be a lesbian and then genderfluid but now she’s cishet and idk if she’ll understand what i’m going through, i also hope she didn’t decide this due to christianity.
and the gender identity and pronouns jokes feel weird to me as an enby and a lesbian 😓
will this end up actually bad for me like those superevangelicals?
I’m not talking about moral duty or responsibility, I’m just saying the outcomes are better for the person doing the choosing if they engage with the world around them instead of shut it out.
If it’s an old friend, then you especially need to make some effort, for your own sake if not theirs. People are using “nazi” and “bigot” as thought-terminating cliches, but in many cases you can have a normal conversation with the person you’d call a nazi for their online output about things not related to your or their identity or politics. You can learn woodworking from a nazi and go on to make furniture decorated with a hammer&sickle instead of a swastika. It’s an extreme example, perhaps, but in my view it’s also really extreme to peddle this extreme misanthropy as advice to people on the internet you don’t know about their friends you also don’t know. “Engage with them and try” seems to me like less of an error these days if we’re talking generalizations then “cut them off”.
To be clear, I mean removing specific people from your life, not becoming a hermit and only associating with people who are just like you.
I assure you, my outcomes were MUCH better when I removed myself from toxicity.
Your advice sounds like what I would have typed twenty years ago, when I thought I could fix people. Maybe I’ve learned better since then, or maybe I’m just old and jaded now. I do appreciate your optimism, and don’t want to change that in you.
Everybody is different. Some friends can be saved, some can’t. By sharing our own experiences, we give options for OP to consider. There is no “always best” method.
Best of luck to all of you, but also be aware that it’s really easy to catch and spread the plague, especially while trying to cure it.