Need to send out more photos like a kidnapping victim from the 1980s holding today’s newspaper. Should use a Polaroid this time to make it really authentic. Maybe a note with some letters cut out from a skateboarding magazine. Someone can wait at a payphone at the mall next to Spencer’s for an anonymous landline call with further instructions.
Honestly it’s the fact that the paper was there that sells me for it. Like whoever took or doctored or made that photo was like “no we have to include the paper, nobody is going to believe us if we don’t” but if they really wanted us to believe them they’d make a statement. Which means that it wasn’t a good faith photo, they deliberately did their best to trick us by making it “as believable as we can”
That’s why it’s so funny. It’s like a parody of what these out of touch assholes think a proof of life photo would be, in 2026. When everyone has a video recording device in their hand at all times. It’s comically not credible (even if real.)
Exactly. They know what they’re doing. Nobody thinks he’s some “spring chicken”. He’s old as dirt and he freezes in public all the time. If he didn’t look nearly dead then they’d do a 30 second video of him saying “hello everyone I’m getting better” but they aren’t. If he was really sitting in that chair with the paper and coherent then they’d let him be coherent.
Need to send out more photos like a kidnapping victim from the 1980s holding today’s newspaper. Should use a Polaroid this time to make it really authentic. Maybe a note with some letters cut out from a skateboarding magazine. Someone can wait at a payphone at the mall next to Spencer’s for an anonymous landline call with further instructions.
Man I really miss Orange Julius.
Honestly it’s the fact that the paper was there that sells me for it. Like whoever took or doctored or made that photo was like “no we have to include the paper, nobody is going to believe us if we don’t” but if they really wanted us to believe them they’d make a statement. Which means that it wasn’t a good faith photo, they deliberately did their best to trick us by making it “as believable as we can”
I like how everyone stopped to argue whether or not it was todays paper, but no one stopped to ask, why the fuck would they do that?
That’s why it’s so funny. It’s like a parody of what these out of touch assholes think a proof of life photo would be, in 2026. When everyone has a video recording device in their hand at all times. It’s comically not credible (even if real.)
Exactly. They know what they’re doing. Nobody thinks he’s some “spring chicken”. He’s old as dirt and he freezes in public all the time. If he didn’t look nearly dead then they’d do a 30 second video of him saying “hello everyone I’m getting better” but they aren’t. If he was really sitting in that chair with the paper and coherent then they’d let him be coherent.
It really was a tasty treat.