I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • kraftpudding@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Well, it sounds like you’re going after women out if your league because you think they’re attractive and that’s a valid choice. But it is a choice you’re making. It sounds like you could have intimacy if you lowered your standards or increased you attractiveness (gym etc). Or you could abandon dating to not have to face rejections.

    So I think the key to avoid bitterness is to reevaluate if the choice you are making still works for you if it brings up bitterness. Then you can either stay with your choice or switch, if you don’t think any other option brings less negative feelings.

    And if you choose the best option for you, there’s no need for bitterness.