Basically when I’m relaxed I act submissively but only when I’m on the alert I am assertive. It’s like when someone asks you a math question out of the blue versus when you know you have to be ready for one.
Is this normal? Or should I try being more passively assertive?
The fact that you are using the word “submissive” in regards to your day to day actions indicates that there is something very weird about you, but probably not what you think it is.
Please help us understand by giving examples
Keep your shirt on, English is not my first language. I looked up the antonym it gave me submissive. To submit to someone else’s will for instance?
Someone took a bag of chips of mine. At the time I figured fuck it they’re a buck. If I was on the alert I would’ve probably said something.
I had an anger problem when I was younger. Had that happen at a party with an acquaintance that ran in our circle of friends. Took a personal bag of chips like that, the dollar bag. The worst part was his smug smile while he ate a chip. Snatched em out of his hand crushed em and dumped the bag on his head. Damn near got in a fight over it. Id say your reaction was better than mine, but you also don’t want to let yourself be a doormat. Thankfully I’ve calmed down a lot since those days, but I also surround myself with better people now as well. Somewhere between our reactions is where you’d want to be.