Grooming them for parasites is probably a good start.

There are versions of Linux that don’t need any internal storage at all, eg. Puppy.

I don’t want mine.

Meerkat mobs are led by a dominant female. She’s identifiable by looking for the biggest butt.

For a start, all your friends have the same face. That just screams ‘pod people’ to me.

“PAY YOUR GODDAMN POWER BILL, CHUCKLEFUCK!”

I was extremely irritated this week when the office catholic, who is quite happy to lie, cheat and steal, told me I’m going to hell unless I accept his god.

When my wife says that, she wants to show me that her cat pissed on something in the house. HER cat. Chosen by HER.

Fame seems like a burden. Given a choice, I’ll take the money.

Can you think of a useful purpose it serves?

Well, no. She was struck down. It was her doom.

You can be born with a name, but not in the same sense that you’re born with kidneys. It’s okay to refer to the kid by whatever name makes everyone feel good.

The last good Alien movie, unfortunately.

When I was a boy and walking to the bus stop in winter to get to school, I used to stomp on frozen puddles to break the skin of ice. They don’t freeze any more.

Well, I was born here and I like it here. I’m using the heater because it’s late autumn and I leave the house at 6 AM. It’ll never get below freezing.

Getting colder by the day. I need my car heater for the drive to work.

I’m writing this from the most easterly country west of the dateline. Time zone GMT+12. It will be Friday here before anywhere else. It’s still Wednesday.

They were.

Sounds like a good way to get suicided. My feed as of writing this:

Not having kids. I have hobbies, and money/time for them.

One of the previous popes called childless couples selfish. I say a never-married 70-year old operating the world’s largest paedophile welfare programme has nothing to say to me about child-rearing.