Anybody want a peanut?

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it.

These uniforms go Hard AF

Me, staring at password puzzle: …i’ll just hotspot my laptop this one time…

Narrator: It wasn’t one time.

presses hitchhike button

Membership is going to be linked to your DNA, the register will prick your finger to make sure you’re valid.

I made the mistake of thinking KSP was a game and not literal mother fucking rocket science.

There was a lot of explosions and no space.

You missed Blizzard’s ICON: Deckard Cain.

Say it with me everyone:

“Stay awhile and listen…”

Comments that make me wish I had aphantasia…

“The clock is broken, but it’s currently right.”

Something can be wrong 99% of the time. Pointing out the 1% doesn’t make the other 99% good, or that 1% wrong as well.

Grilled pineapple is good on its own, the burger is garnish.

Passings laws we don’t like?

NO PORN FOR YOU!!!

Yes there are more than 100 angry people, but just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you’re violent.

The right’s gotta stick to the rhetoric, though…

“They’re only peaceful because they’re afraid of the military! If them Army boys weren’t there it’d be chaos!”

“Hello, I’m officer Sackless. This traffic stop is brought to you by your excessive speed and the good people of the Wiownyu Corporation. If you would like to know more, scan this code and receive a 20% discount on your traffic fines.”

12345 works as a default a surprisingly large amount.

2580 is another one I’ve used with success.

You’re on the wrong track, I’ve seen this particular abusive relationship before.

This is Trump saying “If I can’t have you, no one will!” and it ends with a murder/suicide…

Only the blue parts

I think a swarm of antelopes sounds incredibly terrifying:

Just a mass hooves, fur, and antlers; can’t tell where one ends and the next begins; roaming across the land, leaving only destruction in its wake…

Because I’ve seen this movie before, and it did not turn out well for the humans.