FRED: Hello, what’s this?
BOB: Oh, that? That’s the butt baker button.
FRED: The … butt baker button?
BOB: The butt baker button!
FRED: What’s the butt baker button?
BOB: Oh, the butt baker button bakes your butt!

TOGETHER:
Oh, the butt baker button bakes your butt,
Yes, the butt baker button bakes your butt!
If your butt’s cold and unbakéd
You don’t have to get it naked
The butt baker button bakes your butt!

September kids eventually figure out we were probably New Year conceptions.

Usually, “shit” is worse than “ass” as a swear word. And yet, in “this shit is ass”, the negative sentiment is carried by “ass”, not “shit”.

“I’ve looked at love from both sides now…”

Dude. Trees. Dude.

Trees, dude. Trees.

Antichristian, that is; in service to Mammon and to the Beast 666, Nero redivivus.

Ender’s Game came out before the Web. But like many science fiction authors of the time, Card was a very early Internet user and would have been familiar with Usenet newsgroups.

With a little bit of Hellboy.

A lot of folks in Ireland have an Aunt Aoife.

That new mix tape was the bomb. Or did it bomb? I’m confused.

You just started reading this sentence and it’s already over.

Etymologically speaking, “engine” means any invention, whereas “motor” means specifically something that makes things move. A gasoline engine is a motor; an electric motor is an engine.

motherfucker → m10r
asshole → a5e
buttmonkey → b8y
scumbag → s5g
spankmankerjankwanker → /s(.ank(er)?)*/

And you should!

If you’re not on a list, what the fuck have you been doing with your life?

Can you imagine wanting your daughter to spend any time around any of these men?

Tree jizz makes me sneeze.

Alas, language doesn’t work that way. Consider: newspapers used to refrain from printing swears literally. They’d write something like “——” or “[expletive]”, or they’d paraphrase. But then politicians got a lot more foul-mouthed, and newspapers had to start printing more swears just to report what the politicians said.

Another option is oxalic acid, which is the solvent in Bar Keepers Friend.