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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • As a teen I had little to no interest in penetration. Tampons didn’t feel good, so why would I assume something else would? I wasn’t really interested in penetration until I was interested in my partner specifically.

    Once I (eventually) figured out pleasurable masturbation, I still stuck with external stuff mostly, and fingers in general. Eventually I got a job and a debit card and could privately online shop, but my little bag of toys continues to go mostly unused. Nothing beats my fingers.

    I don’t know about other women, but for me masturbation is and always has been much more about what’s going on in my head, and then adding the pleasurable sensations to that, rather than experimenting with different sensations.

    For a beginner I literally cannot imagine a cucumber. How many dicks are as thick as a grocery store cucumber? None I’ve seen in real life. Maybe in porn, but I can’t think of any. It would just hurt. Beginners would need something maybe the size of 2 female fingers. (Maybe a farmers market cucumber that’s skinnier?)










  • my husband and I both have ADHD. typically, we fight, I’m over it pretty quickly, he needs until he can sleep to get over it, but I think this is because we usually fight “My way.” I need us to talk it out and dissect what’s actually the root of the issue (usually past hurt, ongoing pattern, or misunderstanding at the onset of the fight). Once the issue is dissected and we commit to a resolution, or even just commit to acknowledging the issue and working on it, I feel loads better. If our flight is interrupted or he gets his way (ignoring the root cause, taking a short break from each other for a walk) then I’m simmering for ages and not that interested in being friendly again whereas he is back to normal.

    Are you better at arguing? Do you typically “win” the argument? Or do arguments usually go along your ideas of how a fight should be structured? This may have something to do with it.

    I second the above recommendation for the Nonviolent Communication book. It’s a short little read / work book and it can get you both using the same language, as well as kind of force you to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs.




  • Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don’t care, because my kid is great. She’s a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn’t realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she’s hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I’m in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It’s amazing.

    That said, I would say if you’re not 80% sure you want kids, don’t. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.