I mean, Drake is a trader… he just dropped three albums. So what’s wrong with that?

And Drake literally is an ephebophile, which most Internet commentators say is functionally the same as a paedophile, without understanding the differences. The former being attracted to adolescents who lack adult maturity and the latter being attracted to preadolescent children. The fact is, Drake groomed Milly Bobbie Brown (aka Eleven, from Stranger Things) when she was like, 15-17. So, Kendrick was right to say “Say, Drake, I hear you like ‘em young. You better not ever go to cell block one. To any bitch that talk to him and they in love, just make sure you hide yo’ lil’ sister from him.” He probably wasn’t wrong to say “Tryna strike a chord and it’s probably A minor” (that’s an old joke), but “Certified Lover Boy? Certified pedophiles” isn’t technically correct, but we allow it because “paedophile” (or Kendrick’s American spelling, same thing) is way more inflammatory than “ephebophile”, and, hey, both are illegal!

And all Drake has to say for himself is something about how Kendrick raps about being from the hood but goes home to his house in the hills? Does Drake still live in the hood? Do any rich and famous rappers? Fucking doubt it. It just seems like such a stretch. Kendrick owned him fair and square.

That said, Drake is still one hell of a singer. It just remains to be seen if his fans will forgive him after he diddled (or at least groomed) a teenager. But I mean, Chris Brown still sells records after beating his girlfriend within an inch of her life. (He is also one hell of a singer. I enjoy his music but I cannot in good conscience support him. It’s fine if it comes on the radio, but if it’s on my paid streaming service, I’ll skip him every time. I wouldn’t pirate his music because I feel then I’d have to put effort into listening to his music, and I don’t want to do that either.)