It’s quite sad that you consider that the only way to “take part in society” is to have a job. I’m disabled and though I do work I might not be able to do so in the future, and you’re essentially saying that if that happens I’ll no longer have any sort of value. I really think that’s some brainwashing, you can only see your own value through your labour. It’s like some kind of slave morality.
I think it’s far more important to protect the welfare of children who had no choice in whether they were born or not, than it is to “punish” poor people for making bad choices. What would you have as the alternative?
You keep having this whole “having your cake and eating it too” argument with yourself. You are simultaneously hard-done-by because you can’t go on a holiday every year, but also you’re not because you have a mortgage and a big childcare bill.
The reality of the situation is that there is no such thing as the middle class, it’s just propaganda made up by the ruling class to divide the working class, and it has worked wonders on you. You’re envious of your neighbours, and you see them as your enemies rather than your potential allies in the bigger fight. We are all exploited by the ruling class, and unless we can accept that, we’ll never be able to change things for the better.
Democratic elections are the modern equivalent of “bread and circuses”. A system cannot fail those it was never meant to function for. The only way to effect real change in the world is through revolution - as peaceful as we can make it. We must end capitalism before it ends us. And that starts with accepting the reality that the absolute best case scenario for democracy is to slightly limit harm.