I’m using Hacker’s Keyboard, it’s got all the keys where I expect them. None of the others feel right, but the fact it hasn’t been updated in years does worry me. If anyone knows of a keyboard with a similar layout (separate number row, ctrl, esc, alt and cursor keys in place and the usual symbols as long press on the numbers) I’d love to try it out.
I initially read that last sentence as “Hope his prostate collapses sooner than later.” and honestly couldn’t find a reason to disagree.