I have a trauma-based personality disorder, which sometimes manifests itself in episodes of often uncontrollable bouts of verbal violence. I prefer to direct this to people on the internet (as opposed to actual people), as I don’t wish to be violent towards people I actually care about.

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Joined 7 months ago
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Cake day: December 9th, 2024

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  • Narri N.@lemmy.mltoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlWhat keeps you going?
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    2 days ago

    “Mom would be sad” was basically the only thought that carried me through my most suicidal years. So I guess it’d be “kid would be sad” for you. In any case fake it 'til you make it if all else fails, that was what they taught us in dialectical behavior therapy by the way of willingness & half-smile (or at least that is how I internalized it). Another thought that has been keeping me going since those suicidal years is “this too shall pass” with or without the additional “away” in the end, by which I have come to understand the transient nature of everything; the only constant is change, and it is inevitable. This combined with some personal growth in understanding of global geopolitical and economical concepts (straight up communism bro) has lead me to believe that better times are indeed coming, and although it may not be us alive right now who will be here to see those better days, we should not lose hope for the future. Someone once said that “wise men plant trees under whose shade they will never rest” or something, so I’d maybe encourage you to pick up again your hobbies that you listed: art, walks, talking, plant growing and community work and try to focus on what’s at hand, not what has been or could be or is somewhere else. You cannot affect any of those, so why worry about them?

    I understand that the current global political and economical unrest is scary, but if it’s not currently threatening your life (or say your kid’s life) or stopping you from enjoying the things you are doing currently then it’s not really worth worrying about those, is it? I myself found help through DBT, it’s a long-form therapy used among others for emotional dysregulation disorders – like borderline personality disorder (that’s me!) – but it has many concept I believe should be in standard school curriculum globally, and the resources are available online as well as in print.

    In any case, I hope the best for you. Raising children in the current global situation is no doubt incredibly anxiety inducing, and though it is good to stay strong for your children, it isn’t advisable to suffer because of your children so to say. It is good that you evidently know how to ask for help, and probably are capable to receive it.










  • Yeah, that (the video hosting) is why I’m still using it. I started using Youtube in high school at the latest, so around 20 years ago (Youtube was launched in -05 so it couldn’t be earlier) and it’s the only one from those days I still use. But because everything tries to be a social media, and because of Alphabet’s rampant capitalism and the continued enshittification of everything it lies its grubby, fat, little fingers (kinda like DJT’s in a way), it has those disgusting aspects of social media forced on its users.

    btw have you encountered the forced AI voice translation of videos yet? if there is one part of modern internet that I hate and absolutely despise the most, that causes more rashes than ads and more epileptic fits than all of the AI slop you can force down my throat, is when the internet is in my own language when it shouldn’t be and I have never asked it to be. if I’d want to watch shit in my own language I’d fucking search for shit in my own language, and there is a reason I never do (because it’s shit and cringe as fuck). if you’re gonna offer this service to the unwashed masses, at least let them op out. But no, it’s always on by default, and the video creator has to turn it off.


  • I don’t know which I hate the most, but since I don’t use any Meta products (finally dropped Whatsapp too last March), or Twitter (which I dropped after they made BetterTweetDeck unusable even before Felon took over), or Reddit (got banned from r/worldnews, r/asmongold among others), or Snapchat (which went along with insta and Threads earlier), so basically the only social media I actively use is… Youtube? And I hate all the social media aspects in there that I cannot evade. So I guess Youtube’s social media AI slop is the one I tolerate the most.