All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.

Easy - declare that kids of illegal immigrants aren’t subject to the jurisdiction of the US, then the 14th amendment doesn’t apply!

Of course you’d probably still need legislation to do that, if not an amendment.

I think he wants us to shit ourselves in public about this stuff so he can mock us, but the grandiose gestures he’s throwing around right now are mostly just laughably stupid. I’m still preparing for the shitstorm but I don’t think the big noises he’s making now are telegraphing the real plays.

When future generations (of alien colonists on our dead world) update the story of Cassandra, the main character will be changed to Bernie

The beer belly putsch

I think that’s the answer. He’d eat the hamburger half.

I won’t be satisfied with anything less than a full disadulation

And why would the Democratic Party need new voters if there won’t be any more elections?

I actually just started learning C++ today.

If Lovecraft were alive today one of his stories would start with this line.

The ones he thinks Tim Walz replaced with tampon dispensers

The Trump campaign is a conspiracy by Big Deep End to sell more deep end!

“If the shoreline fits”

So, after he flees to Argentina?

I’ve never paid attention to the Olympics. What’s terrible about it this year?

His brain got smart but his head got dumb

Aww that’s a lot less silly and therefore less fun (still pretty silly though I guess)

This tells me the explosives they found in Crooks’ vehicle were hidden in tennis balls

Wait so republicans fail the Voight-Kampff test?

Order it, step down, get pardoned by President Harris

They sure do seem to have a lot of it

I mean, wasn’t the modern state of Israel invented at least in part so antisemites would have a place to deport them to after it became gauche to kill them?

Homer tells Barney he’ll strangle Bart if CPS responds to Ned’s call