Do I look like I know what a jpeg is? I just want a picture of a got dang hot dog!

Whoa buddy, too soon. Now is not the time to talk policy. Trans kids are playing soccer.

RFK could not be reached for comment, but was reportedly seen in his backyard tying dozens of pigeons to a lawn chair to see if he could fly.

Sorry for your loss

“Mamaw, would God still love me if I wanted to fuck the couch?”

I have a dream that one day my children will not be judged by color of their upholstery but by the comfyness of their cushions.

Sorry GOP, no abortions, even in cases of rape or couchsex. You’re carrying this baby to term.

So think of the SpongeBob meme where he keeps revealing more dirty diapers. We are currently at the panel where he points out the window to the mountain of diapers.

Remember, if you use xshitter in any way, even to follow your favorite progressive celebrities and complain about the platform and write mean tweets about Elon, you are validating the platform. You are putting money in his pocket so that he can continue to donate $45 million per month to conservative superPACs.

Followers must be convinced that they can overwhelm the enemies. Thus, by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak.

“You’ll be shot for this!”

“Nah, I don’t think so. More like chewed out. I’ve been chewed put before.”

“Until we meet again!” deploys golden parachute

BGM Type:

☐ Arrangement

☑ Original

🎵Natalie Holloway. That angel!

He fortunately avoided the train, but unfortunately still owns a Tesla.

Dude I saw star trek generations it was just this silly little rocket and it only took 10 seconds to reach the sun

Yeah but Biden is a disappointing centrist, so clearly I don’t know how choose between him and an authoritarian dictator.

He was flattened, but since his skin is made stitched-together whoopee cushions, he sprang back into shape as the gas built up.

It’s not my fault! My wife keeps accepting these bribes. And then I gotta go along on all these vacations, otherwise it’ll go to waste.

Eyebrows fuckin raised

The man then reportedly made a motion like he was throwing a ball, which resulted in Mike Johnson excitedly running in the direction where the ball was apparently thrown. However, the man kept the ball hidden in his hand the whole time, a fact which did not dampen Mike Johnson’s excitement when the man eventually revealed the ball.