You’re not how orbital mechanics work.

Land in ocean, suddenly Tom Hanks is involved.

See? They still landed amongst the stars.

Damn. That’s worth savoring.

Oh, I’ve touched a horse.

Nicolas Cage’s The Wicker Man is the only John Wick spinoff worth your time.

I wish women’s screams still riled me. It’d sure make mornings a lot easier.

Thanks for the heads-up, giving RSS Guard a try as we speak. Looks fun.

As in “FWD: FW: Fwd: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw:?”

Or…?

I can’t believe this ended badly. Seems like you just can’t catch a break.

First, they came for Wordpad, and I did not speak out–because I did not use Wordpad…

They didn’t call it the Constitutional Cumvention for nothing.

You’re gonna want to get some tweezers and collect those bad boys one-by-one, to be safe.

Earth is lovely, it’s humanity I struggle with.

Can we shop around? New Zealand seems nice? I’d let Jacinda Ardern colonize me?

Seriously, Joe, go out with some fireworks.

Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich (pretty much always perfect, too). Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr. biscuits (made fresh every morning). My top two probably.

They really should.

Black Dreamcast is pretty sexy.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Step one to resisting: bullet-time.