Matt “Pizza” Gaetz makes perfect sense for this role.

I’m sure the “Party of States’ Rights” GOP will be perfectly fine with this.

There are a bunch of aptronymic last names, especially in English culture. The Baker family, the Tanner family, the Shoemaker family etc.

Don’t ask about the Dickinsons.

After the ‘garbage’ comment last week, magats were talking about wearing garbage bags for Halloween costumes.

Somehow dressing in a garbage bag is a step /towards/ sanity.

Similarly, I want to know what a reach-around is.

Back home, it meant that when you’re giving someone a bj, you reach around and finger their butthole.

I move out west and people are saying that it’s when a guy is banging a guy from behind, he reaches around and gives the receiver a handy.

In these trying times, America needs to know.

I woke up every day worried that we’d nuked Spain overnight.

Seriously, people who don’t know about William Barr should look up his dad, and realize that the asshole doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Vanilla ISIS

A buddy of mine is a wine steward. He quit smoking and said “Holy shit I can taste wine again. I’ve just been making it up for years!”

I think it might be this. A lot of traditional media outlets are mad about twitter becoming such a necessity for them. The old guard is mad that they have to cater to this bullshit online platform. The new guard is mad at the fact that the best outlet for breaking online news is suddenly owned and operated by a fascist.

All of them want to say that x is bullshit, but they don’t want to actually lose the clicks/ market share that comes with it. So they keep passive-aggressively calling it twitter.

Drunkenly thinking about it, this is kinda like calling a trans person by their dead name. Except it’s insulting a shitty company led by a shithead, so I’m cool with it.

The deplorables comment was one of the nails in Hillary’s coffin. We can say these things, Harris can’t

Put some respekt on the Dark Carnival. There are over a million Juggaloes in America. Probably a couple dozen Juggalettes, too.

Goddamn welfare queens are trying to steal my job.

A fake Socialist that Seattle ran out of town.

Start the night with a good craft IPA. End the night with Rainier.

Kamala Khan is Pakistani.

Kamala Harris is Indian/Jamaican.

I would bet that there are regional pronunciations. Plus, that’s not unique. I’ve met three different women from southern California named Andrea and they all had different pronunciations.

Philly threw batteries at Santa, but they have some standards.

MacArthur was a bit crazy in that regard…

I have met many, many school teachers in my adult life and the vast majority of them are lovely people. There has only been one who I’d describe as a psychopath.

Alcoholics? Absolutely. It’s a toss-up between teachers, lawyers and nurses for the hardest-drinking group of motherfuckers I’ve ever known.

Wow. You suck.