Again? Or still?

Most people are idiots.

So a twenty-year marriage and a mortgage, got it

Do you think it would turn out the same way as that one time I married the stripper?

I made her a loaf of sourdough bread and now I know her real name and home address. Did I mess up?

But the escort actually likes me, right?

🙄

Black men are magic, got it.

But what about the spam emails your wife accidentally signed you up for ???

Teach me.

I do, I just don’t hold office.

I can afford it, I just want to know what I’m getting.

Funny, I switched to Android because iOS was doing shit like this.

What does /hj stand for? Handjob?

They would if they could read

People already didn’t pay attention to one another; the conplainer was just using a convenient scapegoat. It’s smartphones now. It’ll be neural implants next century.

Now kiss

People once complained about people reading newspapers on public transit.

Nothing has actually changed.

Well, the seal’s not exploding it. Orcas just chow down on those floating snack pods too.

It somehow makes it feel a bit better knowing that the fish are apparently already dead.