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Sorry to hear that. I have PTSD as well (but from other causes). For me EMDR, imagery rescripting and psychosomatic physiotherapy helped. It did not completely solve it, but it made it much better. Maybe some things to try if you have not done so, and you want to.

That is just really sad. Evil is defined by a lack of empathy and this way of thinking clearly shows a lack of empathy.

Yes, I can completely respect that people do not want to have an abortion themselves or maybe even have difficulty with it. But I think it is not right to impose this believe on others. It is very good to meet people like that sometimes and see the other side. My christian friend is the same.

Even if you are against abortion and feel your opinion is so important you need to force it upon others, it makes no sense to block this medication. There are many medical reasons for needing it. I needed it twice myself because I was pregnant, but the pregnancy was not vital and my body did not miscarry on its own. I would love to have children, but in those cases there was no unborn life to protect as it would have never become a baby. I was very happy to have access to this medication, because being pregnant for months while wanting a baby and knowing that you will not have a baby is very difficult and confusing psychologically. Taking the medication was difficult as well, but in the end I was glad I did.

(I am not against abortion, I just cannot see why it would be logical to ban this medication even if you are.)

I agree. I have one too and I am very happy with it. I also think it does not break as easily as most other phones. I drop it all the time and it is still fine, even the screen.

Thanks! Was looking for something more privacy focused. I had not found this one.

I actually agree with this. This technology should be open. I know that there are arguments to keep it closed, like it could be misused, etc. However, I think that all the scary stories about AI are also a way to keep attention away from the fact that if you have a monopoly on it, you have enormous power. This power will grow when the tech is used more and more. If all this power is in the hands of a commercial business (even though they say they aren’t), then you know AI is going to be misused to gain money. We do not have clear insight in what they are doing and we have no reason to trust them.

You also know that bad actors, like dictatorial governments will eventually get or develop the technology themselves. So, keeping it closed is not a good way to protect it from that happening. At the same time, you are also keeping it from researchers who could investigate how to use and develop it further to be used responsibly and to the benefit of humanity.

Also, they relied on data generated by people in society who never got any payment or anything for that. So, it is immoral to not share the results with that same people in society openly and instead keeping it closed. I know they used some of my papers. However, I am not allowed to study their model. Seems unfair.

The dangers of AI should be kept at bay using regulation and enforcement by democratically chosen governments, not by commercial businesses or other non-democratic organisations.

I think they have instructions on the website on how to unlock the bootloader etc. There is also a lot on how they support open source with their own OS. I think that your warranty also remains valid after you unlock the bootloader and install another OS, as long as you revert to theirs when asking for support. I can sortof understand that, as it would not be feasible to support all sorts of custom ROMs.

I can definitely recommend getting a Fairphone. I quite happy with my Fairphone 4. Bloatware is limited to Google stuff and they even give instructions how to easily install a custom ROM (have not tried that yet though).

The specs are not great, but good enough for me. But the main advantage for me is that it does not break that easily. I drop my phone all the time. My Samsung phones and Pixel phone I have broken within the first few weeks. Usually I dropped it and the screen cracked, even with a protected case.

I have had this phone for a lot longer now (maybe years by now) and I dropped it like a 1000 times and it is still fine. The screen has not cracked, it still works. Only the side is a little chipped. I don’t even use a protective case. And even if it breaks, I can just buy the broken component from their website and easily replace myself using normal tools. So that is really nice.

I can understand that it feels that this is the maximum you can cope with. But as long as you keep breathing, you still exist and you can cope. I can promise you that if you go through it instead of around it, it will get better. I cannot promise you exactly when or how high the peaks will be, but I can promise you that as long as you keep breathing you can cope.

My little sister died from anorexia, I had a miscarriage, my parents emotionally neglected and emotionally abused me as a child and several other traumatising stuff happened. I know pain. I do not underestimate yours. But this is how I dealt with it and I think it will help you too.

I sincerely feel for you. But the pain has a function. You need it to process and you need to feel it to eventually be able to make a new and happy life for yourself. Just keep breathing and go through the waves. I know you can do it.

Don’t drink. Cry. It sounds stupid, bit crying out all the pain might help. Do not run from it. Go through it and cry again if you need to. If you can do so safely, drive and scream in the car. Or break some stuff that you do not need anymore (like plates or something).

I have been through some traumatising stuff and the only thing that helps is not to run, but to go through it. I promise you, there will be a peak in pain and then it will reduce and the next peak will be less severe. This will go on and the pain will become less and less. As long as you keep breathing, you can handle it.

I think that most people on earth are good people, still. Most of them are not invading countries and hurting others, they are just trying to live their lifes and help others. Some of the people that commited the horrible acts are misguided or have been hurt themselves to the point of madness. Which does not make it okay. Far from it. They are dangerous and should be stopped. But it also does not make them purely evil.

No human should be viewed as an animal, even if they have done the most atrocious things, which Hamas has. This is not to reduce or deny the severity of what they and the Russian government has done or to deny the suffering they have caused. Not at all.

But they are the ones viewing other as less than human, as animals. This is what makes them able to hurt others like this. And while it is very understandable that our own pain and empathy with those that are hurt makes us want to view them as animals, so we can hurt them back, I do not think it is the way to go. I think it is far more powerful to stop them while keeping our humanity. The more we do that, the more we show that we cannot be broken by them, no matter what they do.

So, yeah, they picked the wrong person for the job. He is really good at chest thumping. He is an opportunist who adapts his beliefs to what works best to supports his career. In the Netherlands, he is known for trying to postpone measures to protect nature to keep the farmers voting for him, amongst others.

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Maybe you are distracting yourself from something?

I am wondering what words it saved and why we did not need those words, but, apparently, we needed all the other ones.

Also, saying that it saved 2 words took more than 2 words. So, it actually added words.

I do not want my data to be monetised at all and I try to limit my use of services that do monetise my data as much as possible. This means that I try to not use Google products, for example.

In some cases, I feel forced to use it because the consequences of doing so are too high. For example, almost all my friends and family use WhatsApp. If I do not use it, I will be harder for hem to communicate with and I would miss out on a lot of stuff which happens in groups. I am not sure to what extent WhatsApp uses my data, but it is part of Meta and I do not trust Meta at all. However, in this case, access to my friends and family is more important to me. Although I am quite angry about it and I will get out immediately once there is a law that obligates messaging apps to be able to communicate with each other.

I would share my data for other uses, if it is in the interest of society. For example, I would share it for some scientific research.

That is okay, I can be quite long-winded as well! Thank you also for saying that I was helpful to talk to. I like talking to you too.

Understanding each others trauma is not enough for a friendship, I agree with that. You need more than that. Personalities that fit well together, same level of intelligence, same sense of humour.

I am not that sarcastic myself, but my sense of humour can be a little bit dark sometimes. Especially me and my sister could make some dark jokes together. I miss that. Some people might be offended a little bit by some jokes, but if they are not really hurt by it, just slightly offended, that is even funnier sometimes to be honest. I think humour is a very healthy way to cope, including sarcasm. It can be a way to still find joy or to reduce tension or put things in perspective. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe you need to have experienced dark stuff to get the sarcasm and dark humour?

I think accusing people of trauma dumping is a very unempathic way for people to create a distance between them and the things you are telling them. They are scared by it and this is their way to cope. My boyfriend had a fairly normal childhood and life. I used to be quite open with him about what happened to me and he would just almost shut down and not respond (some of the time, other times he was supportive). We had some issues with that, because I was really hurt by that. He used to say that it was just too much for him to deal with. And I actually would get a little bit angry about that. I had to deal with these things that happened to me. I had to and and I could, while at the same time even only hearing about it was too much for him. I just could not understand. However, after a lot of discussion, I now think that what you can cope with depends very much on what you have had to cope with. I can deal with the things that happened to me, because not dealing with them was not an option. They were happening and I had no control. My boyfriend, however, does not strictly need to hear about my trauma, so he has the room to be unable to deal with it. He also had not something worse than that happening to him, teaching him how to deal with this stuff. So, he just did not respond and tries to ignore it.

In short, your seamstress probably cannot or does not want to deal with it probably for similar reasons and is mean to create a distance. It could also be that it is a trigger for her and that is why she creates a distance. Traumatised people can also just be assholes.

I addition, I told you you were strong as well. It is very obvious from your story. However, I am not a therapist and a therapist should dig deeper than that. Things are not magically solved because you tell people something positive. You actually really need to get to know them and know what they need and try to provide that. These therapists seem to lack that basic skill. I am sorry to hear that the therapists are so bad where you live. A good one can really help a lot, but bad once only cost money or even do damage.

If your ex still could be a threat to you, then it is quite functional to be scared. It might help with protecting yourself. A restraining order might help with being and feeling more safe again.

I have not heard about thought tracking (but maybe that is because English is not my native language). What do you do exactly?

I also like to talk to you! Definitely let me know when you want to talk. :-)

I believe you. And that you have been able to process this already, shows again that you are strong.

I am familiar with the feeling of being disconnected. My trauma is different from yours, but also difficult to understand or imagine for a lot of people. However, I found that other traumatised people are sometimes at least a lot easier to talk to, even if they do not understand completely. They are just not that scared by it, without minimizing what happened. I do have a couple of good friends now, who are very kind and very willing to talk with me about these things. Even if they might not completely understand, they do accept me. That helps a lot. I hope you will find people in your life like that as well.

I agree that it is very alarming that the therapist was uncomfy with what you were telling them. That should not happen. They should have been trained to be able to deal with difficult stuff. That is very unprofessional of them. The same is the case of the therapist that told you to just be more assertive and even more so for the scam artist. It is incredibly mean to try and scam people who are traumatized. You need to be a deeply pathetic person to do that.

I am in the very fortunate situation that I live in a country that pays for the costs of any EMDR and therapy that I need and we have well educated therapists here. So, fortunately, for me it is very easy to get that treatment. I can understand that for you it might be much more difficult to arrange this. However, if you ever get the chance to do real EMDR, it might be good to try. I am not sure whether you have these intrusive images, or sounds or feelings etc from your trauma, but for me it worked especially well for that. Of course it does not work for everyone, but it might be worth the try.

I am no therapist, but if you need a listening ear sometimes, just send me a message. I have had different life from you, so I might not immediately understand or I might not always say the right thing. However, I am not easily shocked or uncomfortable.