Boomer Humor Doomergod

If I’m ever in Scotland I might just take a bite out of the ground to see if I like it

Gimme a nice peaty Laphroaig. Something that tastes like a tire fire on a football pitch

(Though he’s probably responsible for an equal amount of wasted bourbon and whiskey)

The voters have enough guns to challenge their authority.

Pirate ships were anarchist combat collectives. They’d probably work like that.

This is not unlike how pirate ships worked

And also die in hellfire when Jesus comes back

Makes sense. Hungary is a puppet of Russia and Putin’s elbow deep in our president already.

Aside from fucking up our economy, this pushes some of our biggest trading partners into the arms of our biggest geopolitical rival.

Not since the three day special military operation has a country weakened themselves so thoroughly on the international stage.

And I’m happy for it, because we suck and have for a long time.

This pattern—prioritizing extraction over quality

Is called enshittification.

And I’m not surprised McKinsey killed a kid at Disney Land

So vote Democrat and get the Patriot Act anyway

So the rest of them are conservatives regardless of party affiliation? I’d buy that.

Too bad they make up over half of the Democratic Party

And before you mention it, yes I do vote in primaries.

Most democrats also supported the Patriot act

Can’t wait for them to try to false flag a terrorist attack from Greenland.

My fiancé works at a vet clinic that uses it and she says the doctors love it. The customers, however, don’t like that there’s an AI that listens to their visit so they just say it’s “software”

most progressive chair since the rise of neoliberalism

That’s not the flex you think it is

If I were flown to some remote base I’d have so much fun. I’d ask people about things and be super curious about it. Especially if it’s cold because I love it cold.

I’d talk to everybody and see what interesting ways they adapted to the cold. Like, do they store frozen food outside? How do they defend against polar bears?

I only used cassette tape drives a couple times in 3rd grade before we upgraded to Apple IIs, but even then I knew to try putting a music tape in it.

It didn’t work.

I remember getting called a terrorist sympathizer because I opposed the Patriot Act because it could be used for this.

Americans are trash.

People have been waiting for this break to happen since the 90s.

It’s not happening.