I need the updates. My apartment door is a few minutes and a card-locked lift ride away from the street, even if they could get to me I wouldn’t expect anyone to go that far. It’s not like I could just note the estimated delivery time and be ready for that, I’ve had more punctual doctor’s appointments than the average food delivery.

I hate the yes vs not now choices. I use DoorDash maybe once a month or two when we’re having a lazy night in, and every time I open it (including to check the order progress of an order I just made) it prompts me to turn on notifications. Yes or not now. Here, I’ll grab it now.

The thing is, I have notifications on!

I will “never miss an order update” as they say because it’s allowed, I’ve only turned off the million ads they want to send me. These companies constantly being as shitty as possible is getting to me more and more these days.

I have two email addresses that I use to sign up to everything, and they themselves are both over 18 years old. The only thing I’ve let verify my age is my Microsoft account, and they did that by looking up my email with their “age verification partner” or whatever, and they determined I was over 18.

Not that I was ever planning to give any websites my ID or do any selfie shit with anyone anyway, but now that I know it’s completely possible to be verified without all that I definitely won’t now. Discord never tried to lock me out, so I guess my account there is old enough? I signed up pretty early when they started. I’ll go completely offline before I play along with any of this.

I also have everything forwarding to another account, with a rule to tag the ones sent to my gmail so that they’re highlighted. It’s a big task at first but just do a couple every now and then and eventually it’ll be done.

You’re forgetting the secret bonus rule, which says everything can only be at most mildly infuriating when compared to Israel