MrsDoyle

Port is left (and red, same as port wine) - both words have the same number of letters. Starboard is right (and green). But that’s from the cox’s viewpoint - for us rowers, facing the cox, port is on the right. Does my head in every time.

I had Flight Simulator! Crashed so many planes. Happy days.

The wheeze was to make a reverse charge call and tell the operator your name was “Itsaboy”. The call would then be declined.

Mate, back in the day there was a phone book in every home with everyone’s exact address and phone number in it. If you wanted the phone number of someone in another city, you went to the public library, which had more phone books. If the library was big enough, they had international phone books.

If someone didn’t have a phone, you could get their address from the electoral roll, again available at the library.

A lot of people didn’t even lock their doors. We did, but the key was hanging up in the garage.

Edit: my internet is unlimited - it doesn’t cost me any more to blab for an hour.

Last night my sister and I had a 90 minute conversation on our phones with full-colour, hi-res video, me in the UK, her in NZ. It didn’t cost either of us anything. We’re in our 70s, such a thing was unimaginable back in the day.

From the latest Popbitch gossip missive: “The uproar over Piddington’s Jubilee Park is a surprise to some locals, given that its sole purpose prior to the erection of the big Hollywood-style Piddington sign - in support of the village’s risible vote to secede from the UK - appeared to be for dogging. Rarely frequented by locals, given its relative distance from the village, things had got bad enough that the hedge at the entrance to the park had to be cut down so that Thames Valley Police could see in from the road.”

Today: yellow, turquoise, green, all in a carpark near my house.

Never mind that extra hand, wtf is the otter holding?

Canola oil is fine. And sugar isn’t a functional ingredient at all, I never add it.

My bread machine has recipes like this. I just leave out the sugar and milk powder, and use a glug of oil instead of butter. Also use bread flour so no need for extra gluten. Makes a very nice loaf.

My friends and I call it “sniper’s alley” - you keep moving, people are dropping around you, falling to cancer, heart disease, accidents, and you keep going, hoping not to catch a bullet. It’s easy to get downhearted - so many bloody funerals! - so we make sure to have fun too. My friend group is fantastic, I’m very lucky.

Good luck to you going forward!

Yes, thanks, I’m aware. I’m very active, fear not (mainly walking, rowing, swimming, gardening, DIY). Healing takes significantly longer. But I’m not sitting around waiting to get better - the reason for the torn meniscus was doing the post-surgery exercises a bit too vigorously. It does seem to be healing ok.

Sad to say I agree. I had a serious knee injury this year (ruptured patellar tendon) and after a few months I started getting sharp pains in that knee. The consultant said it was probably a torn meniscus - “It might get better, it might not.”

I’m 73, so yeah, it might not. I can walk unaided though, so I’ve got that going for me.

Recently I was having a problem with my banking app and phoned for help. The robot who answered had a helpful suggestion: download the banking app. Then it hung up. I rang back and tried demanding to speak to a human. “All our agents are busy at the moment. Please wait…” While on hold I had a look at the website, and in the small print learned the humans all go home at 6pm. No-one had thought to tell the robot.

When I spoke to a human the next day, she advised me never to speak to the robot, not even to ask for a human. “Don’t say anything, and eventually you’ll be put through.”

Yes, I’m a normal person, and yes, I hate this bullshit. The bank’s human person probably hates this bullshit too, because she has to deal with the aftermath.

(I wrote a letter of complaint and got £50, so it wasn’t a complete bust…)

It’s my favourite. I came across it years ago.

I did that in Jerboa, and can see it and other GIFs by clicking the thumbnail.

Who needs ammo when you’ve got a pointy stick?

“Covered placket”, aka fly front. You’re welcome.

May I present a Scottish delicacy - the macaroni cheese pie.