Teenagers will jerk off to anything. I’m sure some neolithic cave teenagers were jerkin it to boob shaped rocks or baboon asses. Hormones gonna hormone.

I have some extras lying around if you want. They’re only slightly decomposed.

reap souls.

That’s grim.

Hey, friendo, the word you’re looking for (or autocorrect is messing with you) is receipt. Recipe is something that explains how to create something else, generally how to prepare a meal.

It definitely stretches the definition of “a baseball”, but, on the otherhand that does make it easier to penetrate with smaller projectile. Hrm…

True, but also, go big or go home. We’re already talking about murdering someone by accelerating a baseball through their body. Might as well make their body turn into a fine mist, same jailtime.

I’m not physicist, but I’d imagine the force required to propel the ball to that speed would also disintegrate the ball itself?

The shape of the ball would exert the force over a relatively large area compared to a bullet, and the ball material is much weaker than metal objects that would blow through people (ie cannonballs).

So the force required would increase due to larger surface area, but then the ball would break apart from said force. The solution is a metal baseball propelled by a railgun.

Now to just find victims test subjects to trial it.

A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered “hit by pitch”, and would be eligible to advance to first base.

This is gold!

If some tourist puts a greasy 50 cent bill in your gstring as your dancing, you’re going to want to wash that bad boy. Just simple hygiene, really.

Maybe…

It’s for a church, honey. Next!

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Hold on to your butts!

Great show, had me rooting for him till they revealed it happened to him before. He’s either the unluckiest bastard around, or dumb enough to try the same thing twice.

Plus, you could maybe get away with it once. The problem is when they try to do it again. How many bags of money are they finding on the ground? How many highly insured spouses are falling down the stairs?

I, too, have been too excited to post to bother reading the comments. Happens to everyone.

Conan the barbarian paraphrasing ghengis khan.

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!

A wizard did it.

sharpening an axe

Turns out, I’m 25% Scandinavian, and wanted to embrace my heritage, ya know? I always used to feel guilty about this, but I was just born this way.

The poor priest: oh lawd.