Do you think traffic speeds aren’t enforced? Just because they can’t do it effectively because they don’t have the resources or man power doesn’t mean they don’t try.

lol what?

Have they thought about electing a human being instead of a chair? 🤔

Banishment has always been a thing.

Or your company after the whole alphabet.

I signed up for Twitter in 2006 to see what it was all about before it was super popular. Thought it was stupid then just because of the character limit, and haven’t touched it since.

Guess I’m a dunce because of shit that started happening a whole decade later. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Is that where they put a loaded gun on the table and then turn around?

If the president was kidnapped by ninjas, we will send two dudes to rescue him and hope those dudes are bad enough to succeed.

Yes, and weekly; every time I do my shopping.

The wrong weed.

The “shit being locked and nobody comes to help when you press the button” bullshit is why I bought some spare keys for the universal barrel locks most stores use. 9 times out of 10, these cabinets are locked with a lock that’s key is just a circular bit with a single tooth.

If that fighter actually wins, it’ll be pretty funny.

Especially if they’re not even scheduled to fight.

That’s the Commander Keenis.

Mount Suckmore

Too many people don’t know what trolling actually is, and also assume anything said to them is hostile.

Trolling implies intent. Are they trying to piss you off, or are you just being an over sensitive little bitch?

If they put his head up there, I hope people vandalize the fuck out of it by painting it like a clown.

Explains why the item substitutions on my Walmart orders are so fucking nutty (like I wanted blueberries, but they didn’t have a specific brand I clicked on, so they give me raspberries but of the same brand, instead of another brand of blueberries).

“I hate the Waltons, which is why I am working to bring Walmart down from the inside.”

Sliced! Diced! Julien-fries’d!

There used to be ash trays in public spaces. Like, it was super common.

Since public smoking bans are more common, there are no ash trays anywhere. So people just throw their shit on the ground.

Removing ash trays isn’t going to make smokers go “oh well, guess I should stop smoking.” It makes them go “oh well, I guess there’s nowhere to throw this away, it’s going on the ground now.”

No. They only get “Want You Gone” from the Portal 2 soundtrack.