“And nothing of value was lost.” Don’t let the door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha, bitch.

Are you new?! He’s got the R next to his name…!

There’s a gas station north of Austin TX in Round Rock that has Buddha Burgers. Absolutely, hands down the best burgers I’ve ever had, fast food or otherwise.

Oof. You’re fucking pathetic.

Holy shit, you’re the voice of America? You’ve got some fucking splaining to do, then.

“I’m just trying to monetize human suffering. Am i a bad person?”

Actually no, you’re not “bad.” You’ve gone so far past bad that bad is just a dot on the horizon in your rearview mirror.

I once feel asleep, standing up, at a Static X concert. 12 straight hours of drinking will have that effect…

Pffft. They’ll get confused by Paseo de Peralta and end up at the mall.

“You used to kill animals for fun?!”

I think we’re in dire need of some Orcus right now.

And by extension, Putin.

I miss the good ol’ days when Bushy was the worst we could field. Ah, nostalgia.

The Tau…?

If only the person they voted for had said he intended to do this exact thing LOUDLY, REPEATEDLY AND PUBLICLY for the last 4 years…

“Again with the squeaky shoes…”

If you don’t understand the difference between a boss and a tradesman that you called, then I’m out. Either you’re too dense to understand, which would make explaining a waste of time, OR you’re just sealioning, as i suspect, which would make explaining a waste of time.

And you call a different plumber.

Sorry Simon, but the princess is in another castle.

Of course she fell down the stairs, the windowsills were all getting painted that day! Do want to not pay a painter for another days work…?!

I’m about to commit blasphemy:

Y’all can keep the Castlevania. I’ll take the rest.