Venison, lobster, scallops, crab, and shrampies!

Nu!

I see what you did there.

I have house Crocs, does that count?

My favorite rock has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R. My favorite rock has a second name, it’s H-O-M-E-R.

The release of “1985” by Bowling for Soup was closer to actual 1985 than we are to its release.

Bought a Hyper X headset when I was drunk one time. Solid purchase, still have it 8 years later. Only stopped using it because I wanted wireless.

IDK about anyone else, but I call it the legbutt.

Patch Adams helps. https://youtu.be/KmpvNTb3UGc?t=1m4s

You don’t use any rotation? Next you’re going to tell me that spinners aren’t supposed to be spun.

What flavor?

Me flavored water, 15 cents! Come taste my knees!

What a coincidence, a game friend was just talking about receiving some high end perfume as a gift from her son and she was disappointed that it smelled like soap.

I’ve always thought about celebrating Arbor Day like that episode of Raising Hope. Yes, it’s primarily so I can talk about Poppa Woody.

Whoops!

From what I understand, some mental health meds take a couple weeks to see results.

Reading comprehension FAIL!

I once got 29 in cribbage, then it was mostly 19s the rest of the game.

It’s sad to see people who want a bad boy/girl and just end up in a toxic relationship. It’s possible to find someone who is badass AND willing to treat you with respect, but they are not common. It takes way too long for people to realize that the gentler person is going to lead to a better relationship in the long run.

That encountering quick sand in real life was a real possibility every day.

Bonus: My kid doesn’t believe that Santa is magical, he just has really advanced technology.

My older sister hosted a Japanese exchange student when I was in high school. I learned a few words, but he was a regular teenager who barely knew English. We did crush a bucket of chocolate chip cookies in one weekend camping trip.

After he left, I found out his parents forced him into the exchange program so they could get a break. He seemed alright to me.