As someone who used to work retail, I feel this. I have trouble socially and just want one phrase to mindlessly close out every interaction. I started with “have a good day,” but as the day progressed, I would get more funny looks or comments like “…what’s left of it.” I’m sorry, is after 6pm no longer today? Today is a day, right? I ended up using “have a good one.” While less formal, the funny looks and comments stopped.

People are funny. They think it’s strange that I say have a good day as it’s starting to get dark, but don’t bat an eye at the fact that I’m only wishing them a good day. What about tomorrow? “I hope today goes well for you, but fuck tomorrow.” Is the idea that they expect to see me every day? I deserve days off, too. I’m not going to be here tomorrow to wish you a good day, so maybe I should tailor it to my schedule to make sure you’re covered until I see you again. “I have tomorrow off, so have a good couple days!” No, I’d have to change that every day… maybe “Have a good time until I see you again!” is better. What happens when I change jobs? I don’t think I’ll see them again, so I need to make sure their days are good from here on out? “Have a nice life!” That’s worse somehow.

This reminds me of the end of sophomore year in high school. We were signing yearbooks, “Have a nice summer, hope you don’t drown!” Thanks for the positive wishes, but now I’m going to worry about drowning every time I go swimming!

Some people are bigger opinions than others!

What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?

In my 20s, I worked in a place primarily staffed by women. As in it was just me and one other guy on the floor and we didn’t work the same shift. I intentionally left the seat up, waiting for a day to get spoken to about it. Somehow in my young mind, I thought I might be able to sue for discrimination. Yeah, I was kinda dumb. Nobody ever spoke to me, so I never had the opportunity to test that.

Currently, I try to put the seat down when I’m done, even though it’s one sitter and three standers in my home. My thought is that it doesn’t inconvenience me to put it down, so I do it.

I don’t have any examples of my own, but here is my favorite over explained joke from Scott Pilgrim vs The World.

Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.

Scott: What?

Todd: Because you’ll be dust by Monday… because you’ll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up… dust. She dusts.

Scott: So, what’s on Monday?

Todd: 'Cause… it’s Friday now, she’s got the weekends off, so… Monday, right?"

My boss loves it and keeps suggesting we try it. Luckily, there isn’t much use for it in our line of work.

It does describe your average citizen, not politicians or capitalists.

They both can be true. We may have vast cultural differences, but we all want to live in an affordable, safe place and be paid what we’re worth while having the security of proper healthcare.

He’s not part of the US Senate, he’s a part of the Maine Senate. Get your facts straight.

I find it funny that you decided to change the title after posting his position correctly in the Maine community.

This is a poor interpretation of average life expectancy numbers. Plenty of people lived into their 60s+, but due to high infant mortality, the average gets pulled way down.

20-30 minute naps are ideal. When I lie down, I set an alarm for 35 minutes. It gives me 15 minutes to fall asleep and if I don’t fall asleep in that 15 minutes, then I realize it’s not happening and get up.

Oh dang, that’s really close. Maybe I heard that back in the day and the nature of human memory made me think that I made it up.

I feel that the bigger audacity is the real name. Earth means soil, yet maybe 25% of the surface is soil.

Hey stop stealing things that I made up and kept in my head for 30 years!

“Black hole sun won’t you come, and mow the fucking lawn!”

Don’t worry, the stove will remind you!

There would certainly not be any feral pig problems in the US, that’s for sure.

My love for you is like a truck. Berserker! Do you want to making fuck? Berserker!

We’re hitting 10 years married this October! 11 years together.

In middle school, a kid got caught masturbating in study hall. I never saw him again after that. Word was that he moved away out of embarrassment. Parents probably just home schooled him or something.

In a completely different direction, my class broke the “suicide school” moniker. We were the first graduating class in like 10 years to not have a suicide.

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. Damn you, Large Marge!