I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

  • gmate8@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I think I get it what you mean… you are feeling like you are watching a tv show in your perspective, like you are not the one who acts, you are just watching? One of my friemds had a similar experience, please tell me if I understand it the wrong way.

    • H4Lambda@feddit.it
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      1 year ago

      That’s called having a derealization/depersonalisation crisis, not getting older lol.

      Had that when I was 18, tell your friend to get checked