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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • My dad died when I was 16, it sucked so bad. We were close and I was not so close to my mom. It just gets smaller and smaller until it’s manageable. Grief is one thing that there is no way out but through, you shouldn’t wallow but you have to feel it or it will be worse.

    My mom died when she was old and I was more ready for that, and think she was too. That didn’t hurt as much at all because I had more time to know it was coming, so I guess the emotional work happened beforehand.




  • We had a Pit & another mutt - yes the pit bull was good natured and polite, gentle under normal circumstances, easy to train to be obedient to me - but she was strong as fuck, and if another dog, including our other dog, wanted to fight, she was all in, I do think they are bred to fight. Thankfully she moved out when my daughter moved down the street from us, we would have kept her or the other dog but not both of them. We still get to see her & my kid gets to see the mutt, they are practically next door, but it’s better with them living in separate houses.

    All that to say - yes they are just dogs, trainable and sweet. But so so strong and willing to fight, you have to be able to redirect them quickly if they see another dog get aggressive.

    ETA: we never once saw her START a fight. She was a little anxious about men but not at all naturally aggressive, liked other dogs; and we trained her to accept people better. It was my other dog who would snap at her. But once it started both of them lost their damn minds. We didn’t plan for two dogs, one was left chained on our porch by I don’t even know who. One dog two cats is the ideal pet situation.




  • I agree. I like it (the spelling often shows the history of the word, relationships between words) but for an allegedly phonetic system it’s nonsense. Not sure it’s worse than French, but Spanish is so phonetic I can read aloud stuff I don’t even understand!

    I learned to read as I was learning to talk, more like a language than a skill - kids learning in school are taught phonics, and I would despair if that was how I was taught.

    Once. Really? The word Wonss is spelled Once?






  • I do like doing my hair, and to some extent curly is easier (at least it always does something, I can just scrunch it) but occasionally it’s nice to go let the stylist blow it out straight - that will hold for a week.

    And I wanted to comment on the brushing - I used to have SUCH tangly hair that “tangled” was my hair type. If I looked from one side to the other, it would tangle. These ladies on the old Naturallycurly site kept telling me to stop brushing it, just detangle with a wide tooth comb in the shower and then it would not be so tangly. I thought they were out of their minds, that my hair was just different - it wasn’t damaged, no split ends, nothing, just tangly. Well I tried it and guess what? Once I had a crop of never brushed hair, it was not tangly. Ever since putting down the brush it is so much easier. No big detangling sessions. Just wash, can comb the shampoo through it. Condition, some styling products, and go. It doesn’t dry as fast as yours but if I wash in the morning, diffuser a few minutes, it’s dry by lunchtime.


  • Traditional? No. They are not more traditional.

    I think this is relevant

    From Henri Nouwen:

    "Our lives as we live them seem like lives that anticipate questions that will never be asked. It seems as if we are getting ourselves ready for the question “How much did you earn during your lifetime?” Or “How many friends did you make?” Or “How much progress did you make in your career?” Or “How much influence did you have on people?” Or “How many conversions did you make?”

    Were any of these to be the question Christ will ask when he comes again in his glory, many of us could approach the judgement day with great confidence. But nobody is going to hear any of these questions. The question we are all going to face is the question we are least prepared for. It is: “What have you done for the least of mine?” As long as there are strangers; hungry, naked, and sick people; prisoners, refugees, and slaves; people who are handicapped physically, mentally, or emotionally; people without work, a home, or a piece of land, there will be that haunting question from the throne of judgement: “What have you done for the least of mine?”

    I don’t think even the Christian God really cares about the straight and narrow dogma, and would not appreciate the in group/out group focus of the hardliners. The bottom line is the point of their religion, caring for those who are not cared for by others.

    I often figure if Jesus came back, he would always appear to you as the person you least want to help.