No problem.

I’ll add one other thing: Others have mentioned couples therapy. This is a great idea. Even if the relationship is already over, worst case scenario is they both gain some insight into their own toxic behavioural patterns to make their next relationship better.

Russell Brand? More.like rapist.

No one teaches you how to have a relationship. So people just kind of default into patterns that are often toxic.

It’s why taking a step back and being deliberate about how to communicate is so important. There needs to be a shared understanding and deliberateness about how to intentionally communicate.

And it needs to be something that applies equally to everyone involved. No copouts, no special circumstances that only go one way, there need to be firm, hard rules with specific consequences that apply evenly to all involved that are arrived at communally, and not unilaterally.

It takes two to tango.

The defensive lashing out type stuff happens because he hasn’t established firm boundaries around it. And she’s probably lashing out about stuff because… Well. Doesn’t matter, really.

There need to be firm boundaries about how to have a discussion that apply evenly to both of them. Both of them need to buy into these rules. When the lines are crossed the discussion ends.

This isn’t about shutting down a discussion but having the awareness to recognize constructive versus destructive discussions.

Setting reasonable, adult boundaries and rules, sticking to them, and establishing that certain behaviours are problematic are the only way this gets better.

If she’s unable to recognize her own defensiven ss as a problem and work on it all of this falls apart but having the framework in place will allow transparency into the why of it.

My religion is “keep your religion dar the fuck away from me”.

I believe in freedom from religion even more strongly than of religion

The thing in this post about curiosity isn’t just a lemmy/online thing.

The vast majority of people are mainly interested in themselves. Like - if you have trouble on dates, making friends, getting along at work, anything to do with people in general - approaching them with a sense of sincere curiosity will completely change things overnight.

Get people to talk about themselves, be supportive in your discussions with them, and shut the fuck up wherever possible and suddenly you’re interesting, a good person, kind, whatever - traits you’ve done exactly fuck all to demonstrate, but that people will swear are true because you seem interested in them.

It’s fucking bonkers but it’s true. Curiosity can change your world.

I haven’t read any of this research because, like, the only feelings I have about pedophiles are outright contempt and a small amount of pity for the whole fucking destructive evilness of it all, but I’ve been told having access to drawings and images and whatnot makes people more likely to act on their impulses.

And like. I don’t think images of CSAM in any form, no matter how far removed they are from real people, actually contribute anything worthwhile st all yo the world, so like. I dunno.

Really couldn’t give two squirts of piss of about anything that makes a pedophiles life harder. Human garbage.

Happy to share google drive link to you priv1ately if you’d like.

I opened my smart TV and removed the Bluetooth/WiFi PCI card that was inside it.

Good fucking luck connecting to something you privacy invading piece of shit.

We already do.

Its stupid easy, in fact.

Like. Total time of actual configuration for replacing all the faces and voices in the Empire Strikes back with my face and my voice was like 3 hours.

I think that some people are just assholes. And other people are too sensitive.

Sometimes its a bit of both. Sometimes its one or the other.

I enjoy mercilessly shit talking people who mercilessly shit talk me back. But I have the social awareness to recognize when this isn’t appropriate, and to treat people the way they want to be treated, not how I want to be treated.

The issue that where you could once go and see people that did it just because they wanted to its now mixed in with / overpowered by by people that want to make money.

No one is arguing anyone is entitled to anyone else’s naked body. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a preference for wanting to see people who are naked because they want to be, and not because they want to earn money.

Not to mention all the evil / sexual exploitation that comes up once money is in the equation.

Hood news. The afterlife is the same thing as the before life. Remember that? The 4 biillion odd years or so before you existed? Exactly.

I pirate everything. Because fuck you that’s why.

You’re not from America are you?

I ask this because you seem to actually grasp what’s happening.

You actually think there are going to be fucking elections in four years? Jfc you people deserve this shit.

Because some of them, and their associated email accountsz hadn’t been used in years.

And there is nothing linking any of the emails / accounts except my.phone number.

Five email accounts, 20 odd reddit accounts. I’ve only used one account / email for the past year. And that’s from a PC / phone that were new around that time

I pirate literally everything.

I used yt-dlp and downloaded a shitload of old commercials once and I stick then in a random playlist to get the full TV effect. Never know what’ll be on.

From the bottom of my heart, to everyone involved in the production of any kind of media: I hope you fall face into a fifty deep wishing well full of human shit and erect dicks.

Nazis don’t deserve to breathe.

I agree with you on 1. I hope it never fucking changes. The worst thing that could happen is we get the critical mass of dipshits that turns every online service into a fucking shit tornado.